Reading books on a wide variety of topics is a key aspect of deconstructing your faith. I know it has been for me! Over the years, I’ve given and received many recommendations in this genre. Since I’m often asked for these resources, I decided to compile what I hope will be an evolving list that we, as a community, continue adding to as we deconstruct toxic religious culture. Let me know in the comments below what you’ll be adding to your TBR pile!
Here are the best books on deconstructing your faith:
I’ve BOLDED the ones I’ve personally read and recommend. The rest have been recommended to me, but I haven’t read the entire book yet (I’ll update this list as I read!). Each book title is hyperlinked using my Amazon referral link, but I encourage you to check your local bookstores for these too! If you give them the title and author, they can usually order a copy for you!
Books recommended during the Deconstructing Your Faith Summit
- You CAN Talk to God Like That by Abby Norman
- Meditations of Meister Eckhardt by Sweeney & Burrows (mentioned by Megan Gilmore)
- The Great Emergence by Phyllis Tickle (mentioned in Kyle Benefield’s session)
- The Sin of Certainty by Peter Enns (mentioned in Kyle Benefield’s session)
- Deconstruction: Your Journey in Faith by Stacey Wynn
- Charity Means Love: Transforming the Culture of How We Give by Father Nathan Monk
- When Family Hurts: 30 Days to Finding Healing and Clarity by Rebekah Drumsta
- Red Thread: Weaving an Embodied Life of Joy by Aj Smit
- Unbound: A Story of Freedom and Sisterhood by Ticcoa Leister
- Holy Hot Mess: Finding God in the Details of this Weird and Wonderful Life by Mary Katherine Backstrom
- Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh (mentioned in Brendan Curran’s session)
- The Wisdom Jesus: Transforming Heart and Mind–A New Perspective on Christ and His Message by Cynthia Bourgeault (mentioned in Brendan Curran’s session)
- Women Rising: Learning to Listen, Reclaiming Our Voice by Meghan Tschanz
Deconstruction Stories
- Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd
- Accidental Saints: Finding God in All the Wrong People by Nadia Bolz Weber
- Shameless: A Case for Not Feeling Bad About Feeling Good (About Sex) by Nadia-Bolz Weber
- Fierce, Free, and Full Of Fire by Jen Hatmaker
- Not All Who Wander (Spiritually) Are Lost: A Story of Church by Traci Rhoades
- Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church by Rachel Held Evans
- Faith Unraveled: How a Girl Who Knew All the Answers Learned to Ask Questions by Rachel Held Evans
- Out of Sorts: Making Sense of an Evolving Faith by Sarah Bessey
Nationalism in the Church
- Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation by Kristin Kobes Du Mez
- Activist Theology by Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza
Recovering from Trauma, Toxic Religious Culture and #ChurchHurt
- Spiritual Abuse Recovery: Dynamic Research on Finding a Place of Wholeness by Barbara M. Orlowski
- Gaslighted by God: Reconstructing a Disillusioned Faith by Tiffany Yecke Brooks
Anti-Racism
- I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness by Austin Channing Brown
Gender Bias
- Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by Aimee Byrd
- Sexy but Psycho by Dr. Jessica Taylor
2SLGBTQIA+
- Gay the Pray Away by Erika Allison
- The Gay Agenda by Ashley Molesoo
- In the Margins: A Transgender Man’s Journey with Scripture by Father Shannon T.L. Kearns
- Intersexion: A Story of Faith, Identity, and Authenticity by Cynthia Vacca Davis
- Queers The Word: A 40 Day Devotional for LGBTQ+ Christians by Brian G Murphy
- Unclobber: Rethinking Our Misuse of the Bible on Homosexuality by Colby Martin
- Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ Christians Experience Harm in the Church by Bridget Eileen Rivera
- Walking the Bridgeless Canyon by Kathy Baldock
- Activist Theology by Robyn Henderson-Espinoza
- Body Becoming: A Path to Our Liberation by Robyn Henderson-Espinoza
- Where True Love Is: An Affirming Devotional for LGBTQIA+ Christians and Their Allies by Suzanne DeWitt Hall
- Queering Wesley, Queering the Church by Keegan Osinski
- Body Becoming: A Path to Our Liberation by Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza
Empowering Women
- Untamed by Glennon Doyle
- Red Thread: Weaving an Embodied Life of Joy by Aj Smit
- Holy Hot Mess: Finding God in the Details of this Weird and Wonderful Life by Mary Katherine Backstrom
Building Emotional Intelligence and Resiliency
- Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. by Brené Brown
Exploring a More Expansive Faith
- After Evangelicalism: The Path to a New Christianity by David P. Gushee
- Before You Lose Your Faith: Deconstructing Doubt in the Church edited by Ivan Mesa
- When Faith Fails: Finding God in the Shadow of Doubt by Dominic Done
- Confronting Christianity: 12 Hard Questions for the World’s Largest Religion by Rebecca McLaughlin
- After Doubt: How to Question Your Faith Without Losing It by A.J. Swoboda
- When Everything’s on Fire: Faith Forged from the Ashes by Brian Zahnd
- Wholehearted Faith by Rachel Held Evans with Jeff Chu
- What is God Like? by Rachel Held Evans and Matthew Paul Turner (children’s book)
- A Rhythm of Prayer: A Collection of Meditations for Renewal edited by Sarah Bessey
- The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See by Richard Rohr
- Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Gift by Richard Rohr
- The Whole Language: The Power of Extravagant Tenderness by Gregory Boyle
- Tattoos on the Heart; The Power of Boundless Compassion by Gregory Boyle
- Soul Journeys: Christian Spirituality and Shamanism as Pathways for Wholeness and Understanding by Daniel Pretchel, et al.
- Do I Stay Christian? by Brian D. McLaren
Toxic Religion
- Biblical Porn: Affect, Labor, and Pastor Mark Driscoll’s Evangelical Empire by Jessica Johnson
- #ChurchToo: How Purity Culture Upholds Abuse and How to Find Healing by Emily Joy Allison
Bible Translations and Commentaries
- First Nations Version: An Indigenous Translation of the New Testament by Terry M. Wildman
- The Inclusive Bible: The First Egalitarian Translation by Priests for Equality
- Womanist Midrash Dr. Wilda Gafney (I also recommend her lectionary series)
- Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again by Rachel Held Evans
Do you love this list of best books on deconstructing your faith from toxic religion as much as I do? So many good books are written above. Here are a few things to consider when looking for a book on Deconstruction and figuring out which one, or ones, you would like to read next.
What do you want to learn?
As exciting as diving into books on deconstructing faith with both feet and the enthusiasm of a five-year-old, I want to remind you that you don’t have to learn everything there is to know immediately. (And it’s near impossible to learn everything right now, as there is so much to explore). It’s okay to take your time as you discover new ideas. It is actually good for you to pause, digest, figure out what something looks like in your world, and then take on the next thing. You are welcome to buy ALL of the books (fellow book fiend here) but then let’s not shame ourselves when we don’t read them all that same week.
If your book budget does not allow you to have a library that looks like the one in Beauty and the Beast, after taking a moment to sigh in sadness, you can look at what is most important to you at this moment. Is there a theme or idea you are wrestling with and wondering how it can work in practice in your life? Perhaps the concept of the Divine Feminine, the multiple ways to look at Christ’s death on the cross, or another way of looking at Mary Magdelene? If you can tune into your curiosity, you’ll be able to buy the book you need the most right now, not just the ones you want. (Which is all of them, I hear you, there are so many excellent books on deconstruction out there.) Also, this list of best books on deconstructing your faith is always growing, so I’d also love to hear about any book(s) you are reading now that are helping you on your deconstruction journey! Here are some more questions to ask yourself!
Who are you learning from as you untangle from toxic religion?
Look at who the author is. Although there are many theologians to learn from, white men write many of the most popular books, and if you look at books from the last 2000 years, that’s the majority of what the standard Christian toxic religious culture theology framework is built with. And although there are deconstructing white theologians doing great work, I also want to invite you to look for authors of books on deconstructing faith who vary in experience, background, and culture. The way they see the world can open your eyes to a new way of looking at a previous ‘cut and dried’ verse that your pastor has extrapolated on in the same way for years. If theology and hermeneutics are stirring you, I want to encourage you to look up Womanist scholars, Liberation theology, and Queer theology.
When reading books on deconstructing faith are you looking to expand your knowledge or dive deeper?
If you need to learn more about Faith Deconstruction or a specific belief, having a book that goes straight to the core of it and explains it in fine detail can be pretty helpful. Some books cover vast ground and give you an overview or lay of the land; others get pretty specific. If you know, you want to learn more not just about LGBTQIA+ people but specifically about the theology changes in the last 60 years that have created the culture we have today, that is a more specific subject and can help you narrow down your book.
Where can you get books on deconstructing faith?
Your only avenue for finding books is more than just buying them. Check out your local library. Did you know most public libraries offer Ebooks and Audiobooks through either Hoopla, Libby, or other apps? There are also inter-library loans if you live in a small area; they can request it from a nearby library. Perhaps you want to read the book first to see if you need it in paperback. If you are a highlighter and book notator like me, you know the joy of writing in the margins and interacting with the book like a dear friend.
Asking around is another option, or trading books if you have friends interested in the same subject, see if they have any interest in doing a book swap or loaning you a book to read on the subject. Although the books above are on amazon, local indie booksellers can get books online and order them for you. Please keep track of the books you want to read on a site like Goodreads and leave reviews after you read them. Leaving reviews helps authors with rankings (especially on Amazon) and helps fellow people who are deconstructing know what to expect from the book. Even if you bought or borrowed the book, you can still leave reviews on sites where books are sold.
Be aware of wolves in sheep’s clothing in the Deconstruction world.
In the past, and currently, people will market a book saying it’ll help unpack harmful beliefs, but it is a wolf in sheep’s clothing telling you the only way is via toxic religion. You can be a Christian and unpack destructive ideas from toxic religious culture, so remember you aren’t harming anyone by exploring what an expansive faith that acknowledges the humanity of the people around you can look like in action. As Liz Gilbert says, “There is no such thing as one-way liberation.” Having a book say one thing and do another is why reviews are so helpful as well, as you’ll get a sense of the theme and vibe the book contains, not just what it pitches. All the books on deconstructing faith listed above have freedom, liberation, and respect for all of humanity at their core, and I highly recommend them.
As you are reading these different books, I encourage you to keep an open mind and remember to take what works and leave what doesn’t. Everyone’s journey is different, and who knows where yours will take you. Books can open the doorway for new knowledge, ideas, and concepts and challenge you in how you are showing up in your life. Post a comment below about any of the above books you have read that you love and why!
What would you add to this list of best books on deconstructing your faith?
Let me know in The Faith Deconstruction Cafe, my free community where we’re deconstructing toxic religion and toxic religious culture together.
Hey there friend! I’m Angela J Herrington, MA, LSCC and I’m a Faith Deconstruction coach who provides soul care for people who are untangling from toxic religion.
As a certified life coach and seminary-trained online pastor, I have a lot of experience helping people connect with God. But this is also a very personal journey for me.
For the last decade, I’ve been on my own journey to break free from learned smallness and step into wild sacred holy womanhood. Long story short, after finding faith in my early 30’s I began to realize that what I was hearing from the church about women didn’t always line up with what God was telling me. I loved God but realized the church was teaching some really toxic stuff.
So this Enneagram 8, first born, Gen Xer started deconstructing. I questioned and challenged everything I thought I knew about faith, gender, and myself.
It was messy and took a lot of work to sort it out. Therapy. Coaching. Bodywork. Spiritual healing. Conferences and retreats. And even a couple of college degrees.
You name it…I tried it.
But the thing that made the biggest difference was the presence and support of wise people who helped me up when I didn’t know where else to turn.
That’s why in September 2021, I created and hosted The Deconstructing Faith Summit. I gathered 20 phenomenal deconstruction experts to share their expertise and hosted over 1100 attendees in the week-long virtual event. Those who attended realized they weren’t alone, had a safe space to ask questions, learned dozens of strategies to help them deconstruct, and released tons of pent-up emotions they didn’t even know they were carrying around.
We laughed, we cried, and we danced, but the best part was…We did it together.
It was AMAZING and it was just the beginning.
So now, I’m doubling down on my commitment to create an inclusive support system for people, like you, who are longing to get away from toxic religion and cultivate a nourishing spiritual life.
I WOULD BE HONORED TO BE YOUR GUIDE, BE BY YOUR SIDE THROUGH THIS ENTIRE PROGRAM, UNCOVER WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK, AND CO-CREATE A PLAN TO BREAK FREE.
