Where In The Wilderness Am I? by Angela J Herrington MA, LSCC How do you feel about deconstructing? I'm not sure if deconstruction is right for me or that's even what I'm doing. Looking back I can see I've been deconstructing for a while, I just didn't realize it until recently. Deconstruction is hard, but I know it's what I need and I know I'm going to get through it. It's hard, but I'm excited because I can see how it's helping me heal a lot of old stuff. I think I'm mostly through it-It no longer comes up most days. None How do you feel about trusting yourself? I am terrified of making the wrong decision and not being able to undo it. I want to trust myself more but it’s really hard and so most of the time, I don’t. I’m ready to trust myself more but still trying to figure out how to do that. I believe in my ability to navigate this, even though I don’t have all the answers right now. I trust my inner knowing and am confident I can sort out what’s Truth and what isn’t. None How do you feel about setting boundaries? Just thinking about telling people I’m questioning my faith is terrifying. I’ve started to pull back from unhealthy relationships and spaces. I’m not allowing people to exploit me but it's still hard to hold boundaires with people close to me. I am learning to ask for what I need and not enable others. I confidently draw and hold boundaries that encourage healthy relationships. None How are you feeling about your community? Most of my communities are not healthy, but I’m stiill in them. I have lost a lot of my community and feel the isolation. My inner circle is small and that's OK on most days. My circle is growing, and I’m not faking it so people will like me. I have people in my life who deserve to be here and are safe with the most sacred parts of me. None How are you feeling about your healing? I don't think faith, church, or religious people have harmeed me. There are things that need to heal but right now, it just hurts. I’m working through the hardest parts and sometimes can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully, most days my trauma doesn’t overwhelm me. My scars are soft and don’t hurt as much as they used to when something bumps up against them. None How are you feeling about uncertainty and the information you're taking in? I don’t know who I should be listening to and am overwhelmed by all the conflicting information. I’ve paired back a lot of the voices I used to listen to, but I still don't know what I believe. I am still sorting through a lot of info, but it’s not as overwhelming as it used to be. I’ve realized there are a lot of grey areas I may never have all the answers. I am at ease with living in a lack of certainty, and may even find joy in not knowing. None How are you feeling about sacred practices and your connection to God? II miss my old sacred practices, but I still go through the motions. I miss some of the old sacred practices, but no longer fake it just for appearance. I’m reconnecting with old sacred practices in new, non-legalistic ways. I have created, adopted, or reclaimed sacred practices that feel encouraging and energizing. I have developed sacred practices that nourish me on a regular basis None How is agitated is your nervous system? I feel tense, exhausted, and on edge most days. It’s hard to finid peace, but am starting to feel safer and calmer in some spaces. I am learning how to settle my fight/flight/freeze/fawn response when activated. I feel calm and safe most of the time and am learning how to hold my boundaries. Most of my time is spent open, vulnerable, and holding my boundaries. None How do you feel about God? I am afraid that God miight not be real. I’m not sure what I believe about God. I’m exploring a more expansive definition of God, faith, and spirituality. I’m embracing the mystery and sometimes undefinable nature of Divinity. I recognize the Divine all around me and am less concerned about fitting Them into specific boxes. None Time's up Submit a Comment Cancel replyYou must be logged in to post a comment.
