“No sister should have to kneel at the altar alone.  I see you and God sent me to tell you He has always seen you.”

As I typed these words into one of the chapters of my book draft the other night, I couldn’t help but well up with tears of gratitude.

You see, I’ve spent the last 9+ months struggling to start writing a book I’ve been called to write, choking on ideas because I so desperately wanted them to be born. 

Hundreds of false starts, crumpled pages, and words scribbled out. 

I watched my frustration mount as the days went by without writing so much as a paragraph, but in hindsight I see the truth is these stories weren’t ready to be written. And if I’m 100% honest, I wasn’t ready to write them.

They needed to simmer. 

Perhaps even reduce like a rich sauce.

More importantly, I needed to heal.

Waiting for the words to pour out made me cranky and some big doubts started to settle in.  Which in turn brought on more wrestling, trusting, and simmering.  I wrestled so much that I may forever walk with a little limp, but that’s OK.  It was all worth it.

So here I am today watching Jesus gather the pain of the last forty years and birth something powerful from those terrible, no good moments. The message God wants me to write is starting to pour out of my heart and onto the page with ease.

I don’t have it all figured out yet, and I know there will be more valleys to come in the book writing process, but I am insanely humbled and grateful for what I can see from here.

I see Jesus in it and I have learned to trust that when He is in it, people will be set free.

If you’re struggling to get the words God wants you to write out, please keep going.

Keep writing.

Keep praying.

Keep asking God how, when, where, and why.

Through you and in you, He is doing new things.

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